Playing in the garden

Just a quick one today with some clips from our adventures in the garden today. It was another beautiful summer's day with 25 degrees and blue sky... maybe it will stay like this forever!

Olivia and Rikke started a little project to grow some plants from seeds. These ones are echinacea (purpur solhat). She loves to go around with her watering can and learned to play with the hose today... and spray Dad.

When we came home from shopping the other day Olivia invented a game where she ran around pointing the cucumber at us and saying "bee". Now we play it all the time...

Olivia is crazy about Chopin the cat and is even getting brave enough to pat her.

Jump Back to our first day together

Now that things are going well and we have the benefit of hindsight I wanted to share the experiences of our first meeting in some more detail and with the photos that the folks at the orphanage had taken. What a day. It is amazing to look back at these photos now...

 The carers had taken Waad (Olivia) and Boat (Janus) out the front of the orphanage to await our arrival. Janus now lives in Skandeborg just 15 min south of Aarhus so we will catch up again with Janus and his parents, Henrik and Dorthe soon...

This is our first photo together. When we drove up the kids were brought over and they said to Olivia "this is your Mum and Dad...". This is not Hollywood and there were no violins playing...

We were actually pretty anxious ourselves and we could see that Olivia was not keen to have contact with us. We tried to respect her space, but we also had to try and come in closer.

We basically got the cold shoulder... knowing her as we do now I think that it is "Mission Impossible" to get this type of meeting to go well.

Khun Toy took charge and tried to get things to roll...

We went inside and looked at the wall of all the kids that have been adopted abroad. I guess they talk to the kids about that these children have found new parents and they put her and Janus' photo there to impress upon them that they are also going to do this along with all the other kids...

Not sure if she really could understand this rather abstract reasoning though. "Especially with those two weirdos still following me. Who are they again?"

We had sent a pillow to her that had arrived some days earlier. It had a photo of us and a photo of Olivia on it and Khun Toy and the staff had been talking to her about this.

At this point Olivia is still not 100% convinced that this whole "Mum and Dad thing" is a good idea.

Then we were escorted into a little office to get to know one another on weird and stressful terms. Even I was uncomfortable, she must have been wanting to run out and get back to her friends...

We gave her a doll as a gift but this was not a hit. In fact she has never played with a doll or stuffed toy in the time we have known her. She is scared of them. Not sure if this is because of this experience now I think about it...

We have a little fluffy dog and a Mexican horse down in the bedroom that we have put in the far corner because she runs screaming from them.

Here her little body is shaking with fear and Rikke and I feel like we are doing more harm than good, but there is an expectation that we try...

So we left her finally in peace to have some lunch and have her nap. We were given a tour of the orphanage. It really is incredible what they do for the kids there.

Look who we ran into on the tour around! Olivia was very interested in us looking over and horsing about a bit.

But when we came closer she became shy again...

However, as we were leaving she kept looking out the door at us until we were gone.

The next day was tears as soon as we arrived. We thought that we might just have to get over the barrier so Aaron just picked her up and we went for a walk out into the courtyard... and Olivia screamed "mei, mei, mei" (No, no, no) and cried for about 15 min until Nook, her main carer, came and took her up.

Here a picture of Waad (Olivia) and Nook.

It was finally decided we would just "make a run for it" and we sat in the car and Nook passed our little girl into Aaron in the car. She screamed again and then after only 30 seconds or so she reached out for Rikke and came over to her. Another minute and she was quiet for the rest of the trip home... we pick up the story in the previous blog post


... and things have steadily been improving since!

First week home

Olivia has slowly been settling in in her new home. Things take time but we have all the time in the world at the moment. Olivia has actually made big steps and we see only steady progress with her security and expression during the time we have been home.

The first day was a bit cold and we had to rug up to play on the swing that grandpa and grandma Liz gave Olivia. We wonder if it is the most clothing she has ever had on in her life!

Then a day later... the summer came! With mid-20 temperatures every day we have been playing in the garden every day and without the normal layers of clothing she is going to become all to familiar with as the year progresses. 

 

Having both of us at home is pure luxury but also quite practical as Olivia is still rather unsure of herself and usually needs to check in with Mum every couple of minutes or so. Big steps have been made here though, as she is becoming familiar with her home and especially the garden, she makes many little expeditions off by herself or with Dad.

If there is one thing we are good at growing in the garden it is dandelions and Olivia loves to get us to blow the seeds for her...

She has even started to count... "doe, dee" for one, two, three.

We love running in the backyard playing chasing games.

You can see here that it is also going well with getting comfortable with Dad. This morning Aaron and Olivia even went for a run with the baby jogger for 20 min, giving Rikke the chance to have a shower in peace for once...

Olivia loves listening to music and dancing with us. Here you can see the current direction her musical tastes are developing in... ROCK!!!

 Lastly a highlight film for the hardcore Olivia blog fans... we have taken probably a couple of hundred photo so there are plenty more where these came from!!

Welcome home

It was a late departure from Bangkok and we kept Olivia awake by driving around in the stroller. She likes to just sit there and look around and occasionally get our attention to point something out. We wandered around in the departure area and came across another plane that was departing for Brisbane 10 min before our departure and we considered to try and sneak onto the plane...

Olivia finally fell asleep about 30 min before take off and did not wake up, even with all the bustle getting into the plane, then slept for about 6 hours. So somewhere over the Caspian Sea we started the 4 hour peek-a-boo and blocks marathon and Olivia also found some time to talk to her old friend from the orphanage, Janus, who was taking the flight home with his Mum and Dad, Dorthe and Henrik. She was chatting away and then pointing over at him and saying "boat" (his Thai name) after they went back to their seat so they will be good mates here in DK. 

The last hour all of our positive parenting skills came to the fore and we just kept feeding her lollies and chocolate and she was happy until landing. She was actually fantastic for the whole way. So much noise and other faces and disturbance and she just kept being happy. I hope that she has a natural tolerance for long distance flights because she is going to be taking several to Aussieland in the coming years...

We were greeted in Copenhagen airport in typical Danish style with flags and smiles, by Mormor and Morfar (Grandma and Grandad Meyer) and Uncle John and Aunt Aase.

The three girls together.

Mormor and Morfar drove us back to Aarhus (THANKS!). We even met Lady Gaga at our lunch stop...

At home we were again greeted with flags.

This time by Moster Anne Mette and Onkel Michael (Aunt and Uncle), Olivia's  cousins Carl Emil and Laurits, Inge and Steen and Olivia's new friend, Ditte.

Then it was time to explore her new home. In her room, she went straight for the swing but we have not rigged it up properly yet...

Olivia liked her chair beside Dad's reading chair. Maybe she will also be a reader... (I hope!)

Happy Birthday Olivia!

Just some quick photos from Olivia's birthday before we head off to the airport.

As usual we spent the morning in the pool and at this hotel the wading pool was just the right depth for Olivia to walk around. She even wanted to play a bit with Dad, on the condition that she could go back to Mum every now and again. Fun!

After nap we went to a lovely little cafe and had birthday cake. It was a beautiful garden packed with orchids and other flowers.

Now it is time to go. See you next time Thailand.. see you soon, Denmark!

Signing on the dotted line

Today was a big day for us: we became Olivia's legal guardians.

We braved the stifling heat of Bangkok to attend the interview with the Thai Family Ministry's board of review. We waited for a bit over an hour together with a probably 10-15 other families who were there for the same reason. Our contact person, Khun Toy, was again fabulous and made sure that everything went well and even found another office (of someone she knows there) for us to wait where there was some air conditioning.

The interview was a formal affair with a panel of about 8 people from different professions, bureaucrats, doctors, nurses, school teachers and the like. They called us Dr. Saunders and Dr. Meyer the whole time so it was difficult to stay serious... They asked about our path to adoption, our reasons for choosing Thailand, and about our plans for Olivia's future etc. We did not experience it as an inquisition, but neither did we feel that they treated the interview as a mere formality. None the less after only 10-15 min they approved our case. I think that the Thai system is very good in that they make a big effort to ensure the safety and future of the children in their new home.

Then Khun Toy drove us to the Danish Embassy - together with Dorthe, Henrik and their little Janus - to get the kid's immigration papers sorted - this was a mere formality but it still took some time. Then by the time we made it back to the hotel we all exhausted and Olivia was totally past it. We had to run our first emergency sleep routine with me doing laps of the apartment with her in the stroller screaming until she calmed down. It did not take too long actually and as the "normal" routine has been shot to pieces the past couple of days she has actually been a very tough girl.

Tomorrow it is rest day and then the big trip home. We are flying 0:30 (3:30 Bris. 19:30 DK) from Bangkok and land in Copenhagen 6:30 (14:30 in Brisbane). We have fingers and everything else crossed that Olivia sleeps most of the way...

We will miss Thailand: the warmth, the mangos, the tropical thunderstorms in the evening, the food, the fascinating language and the Thai people... but we are ready to go home!

Bangkok arrival

We have arrived well in Bangkok and checked into a huge executive suite at the 30th floor in the heart of the city (paying less than we would have paid at a backpacker's hostel in DK or Australia, by the way). We shared a minibus with the other Danish family (Henrik and Dorthe from Skanderborg) going from Jomtien to Bangkok.

Henrik and Dorthe have picked up their son Janus at Pattaya Orphanage. It was great to see them again, and I think it was a slight surprise for the kids to see each other. Actually, Olivia slept for most of the drive, so she'll have to meet Janus again properly tomorrow when we're together in the waiting room for the interview (for an unspecified number of hours..).

We have placed a pea under the bed to see how she sleeps tonight...

We had been wondering how Olivia would respond to packing up in the apartment in Jomtien and arriving in busy Bangkok. But she is surprisingly comfortable, and immediately ran around to check out the rooms when we arrived. We took the stroller out for a walk on the busy streets to do some shopping, and she actually seemed excited to watch the crowded streets safely from the stroller, pointing in all directions to show us this and that (most of the time we had no idea what, but of course pretended to be very interested...).

We noticed that she was particularly keen on showing Dad what she was looking at, and she has many times sought Aaron's interaction when playing. I have no doubt that these two will be best mates very soon. Tonight she said goodnight blowing kisses to him and reached out to touch his hand when he blew kisses back.

Last day in Jomtien

Tomorrow we leave the coast to go back to Bangkok for 2 days, sorting out the final paperwork at the Danish Embassy (immigration permit for Olivia) and the Department of Social Development and Welfare, where we attend an interview before the authorities officially hand over Olivia to us. We have been firmly instructed to wear formal clothing (suit and tie for Aaron, knee-long dress for Rikke, dress and shoes for Olivia). So Aaron also bought some shiny new shoes for Olivia.

Reflecting back on what has happened in the last 10 days since the dramatic exit from Pattaya Orphanage, where we drove away with Olivia kicking and screaming in Aaron's arms, we almost can't believe how far we have already come in such a short time. It has been ideal to just hang out in slow-mode with nothing else to do than to be together, and it is fun to discover more and more about each other as the days pass. All the comments we have received here and on Facebook have been heart warming - thank you so much!

Today, Olivia has been watching Dad sweep the floor after meal times (yes, the rice sometimes goes everywhere!), so little miss orderly spent quite some time making sure the place is neat and tidy, while Mum and Dad made sure that encouraging acknowledgements kept coming her way.

On Olivia's initiative, we came up with a good game for building our relation with loving cuddles. She seems to enjoy waving "bye-bye", which she now does to almost everyone that looks her way when we are out. This morning, she then packed up her blocks in a bucket, and waved bye-bye to me, as I sat on the floor. She went around the corner into the kitchen (out of my sight), only to return a moment later to a happy and surprised Mum. Soon after, Dad entered the game, and Olivia and Dad did the "bye-bye" routine together. Upon returning, Dad showed Olivia how nice it was to cuddle Mum when they came back to me. And sure enough, not long after, Olivia came running back throwing herself into my arms at each return from the kitchen.

We have been doing similar "emotional practice runs" for giving comfort when she falls, even if she barely hurts herself and we may even be up for the Oscar for "Best Actor in a Foreign Film" if wwe put these videos our YouTube channel. It is not unusual for kids that have grown up in an orphanage to not cry or seek comfort when they hurt themselves. I guess, when they don't get the comforted, they eventually stop asking for it. We have repeatedly watched Olivia knock her head on the furniture, followed only by a minor cringe and not seeking us at all, so she is no exception to this. Today, she fell and really hurt herself (banged her chin on the coffee table - the parents got a big fright too!). Although tears were flowing and she was crying her heart out, she did not want to be cuddled and pushed us away. So - inspired by our friends-in-adoption Henrik and Dorthe's way of coming in contact newly-adopted Janus - I took her to the bedroom and sat close to her on the until she eventually calmed down and accepted to be held by me. Poor thing. Fortunately she was OK and back to her cheerful self after a nap.

Olivia has also been displaying more positive sign of bonding with Aaron. Today she reached out to touch him on the arm a couple of times and once on the face. While we were out for a walk Aaron was squatting near the stroller and they were on the lookout for dogs (a favourite game) and Olivia reached out and was playing with his knee. Big steps for their closeness. 

Another step closer again tonight at bed-time. After the usual routine of milk in a bottle followed by 20 min fidgeting in the bed, she eventually turned to me again and layed for probaby 5 min face to face with me, looking calmly at me, and occasionally putting her hand out to feel my face, then her own face, and then my face again. Amazing. The final finale was cuddling my head into her chest before falling asleep. Really - I am not making this up...

Mother's day

Thanks to a couple of sms and Facebook messages, we realised that it is in fact Mother's day today. My first one, and it's been pretty good. Olivia is now so comfortable with Dad, that he let Mum go back to bed and sleep for an hour after breakfast  - BIG thanks :-) Not that we actually would lack any sleep if we could figure out to get to bed a little earlier, so that Olivia's 5 am wakeup-call would not seem so incredibly early.

We are learning more and more about Olivia's personality each day. She is generally in a very good mood most of the time, and her naughty behaviour is almost always a cheeky way of getting attention. Therefore it is relatively easy to draw her attention to something else, but we are at times starting to get a taste of the challenges that all parents of two-year-olds experience :-) 

One thing we have learned is that she is very orderly. When playing with blocks, she often gets them out and arranges them neatly - all facing the same way - before starting the game. When finished, she always packs away her toys and places them neatly in the corner of the lounge room, and often this is how she indicates that she is ready for bed. Today, she was being naughty and kept drawing with her crayons on the floor tiles in stead of the paper (laughing and looking at Mum). So eventually it was "game over", crayons were packed neatly back into the box, and Olivia was then as excited about playing "we wash the floor together" as she was about the crayons (and she kindly pointed out bits that we had missed, when I went to pack away the sponge).


Being such an orderly person,  we also figured out that she does not like to mix her food items, and that this was probably the cause of some hesitation at the dinner table. If you keep carrots, potatoes and chicken neatly separated in the bowl, and she will happily eat all of it: First the chicken, then carrots, and then potatoes (in order of preference, we guess). The girls got special treatment again today with chocolate mousse. Olivia was kind enough to feed Dad some of hers, but when I tried to film it, she did not have enough chocolate mousse left on the plate to be so generous anymore :-)

Today was pretty much the same as the last couple of days - morning in the pool, and afternoon strolling along the beach.

Olivia is slowly opening up to Aaron and today she was quite comfortable in his arms as they took a stroll around after our swim, and played on the floor later in the afternoon.

Finally, the highlight of the day was at bed time. Although Olivia is playful and also seeks comfort, we have not received affection as such. She does not give hugs or kisses, or touch us in an affectionate way. At bedtime, she fidgets around in the bed for a while before going to sleep, always facing away from me as I lie next to her. I try to give her comfort by stroking her back. Tonight, she suddenly turned around to me, calmed down, and let her little hands gently feel the skin of my arm, neck and face for a few minutes, and then she relaxed into a deep sleep while I lay there with a smile on my face and tears in my eyes :-)

First words (in English...)

Today continued more or less as yesterday. A nice swim in the morning and a walk in the afternoon after napping (Mum and Dad included...).  

On the emotional side Olivia made a big step expressing herself. She is now and again upset and seeks comfort from Mum but has until now just silently clung to her. Today she was a bit upset after waking up from her nap and started crying and cried on Rikke's shoulder for about half and hour. It is good she is expressing herself rather than closing up when she is scared or upset.

A couple of new fun things. Olivia got out of the pool with me and we played on the side for a little while while Mum had a swim (she actually was a bit happier than the picture suggests...).

The other highlight was that Olivia has started to say English words. When we go for a walk she is on the lookout for dogs and birds and points them out. She definitely says "dog" and "ber" sometimes when she points.

Olivia and Dad stop for some birding. We are getting practice with the most common species (pigeon and sparrow) first...

A big hit was the chocolate mouse dessert I bought for dessert. The girls loved it.  Olivia was so excited she just wanted to say who she thought was the best...